The first step to improving your life

The very first step to making your life better, more what you want it to be, is not to fight or resist what you don’t like that’s going on right now in your experience.

This may come as a surprise to you—and it does explain why almost no one knows or understands this, because it seems illogical—but your first step is always, always to accept what is going on now. Hear me out1!

The next time something happens you don’t like, instead of getting upset and letting your emotions take over and figuring out how you’re doing to fight it, do this:

Take a slow, deep breath into your abdomen (or two or three) and relax.

As upsetting as it is, you don’t have to fight this. It’ll work its way through your experience eventually, maybe soon. But, if you resist it, it’ll hang around longer and may even escalate into a bigger, more emotional issue.

Instead, as you breathe deeply, think to yourself “Huh, that doesn’t feel very good. But I’m just going to accept and allow this situation to be what it is. I’m doing something different than I normally would…I’m going to observe it as well as my reaction to it.”

Then do just that! Just become an observer of the situation. Rise above it instead of taking the easy way and getting caught up in the web of emotional entanglements that scatter your energy and disempower you.

Your inaction doesn’t mean you agree with what’s happening or you’re weak and incapable of changing things. It actually shows you are strong. You’re able to keep your cool—your serenity—despite what’s going on. And that, my friends, is worth a lot in this crazy world of constant emotional traps and potholes.