How I moved from worry, doubt and self-judgment to the life I wanted

My search for life-changing wisdom and answers began when I hit rock-bottom, right after graduating from college.

The memory remains, so clear and uncomfortable. As if I was hiding, I sat cross-legged on the carpeted floor, alone in my apartment room, behind the closed door, feeling sorry for myself, having no idea what I wanted to do with my life, with no job prospects, no direction, and no confidence I could do anything.

Being in a dark place wasn’t new for me. Over and over I reviewed all the advice my parents and others had given me about getting out of my self-pitying states and moving forward. A few thoughts came but nothing felt right.

My roommates must have noticed my closed door and increasing absences because--in absolute perfect timing—they softly knocked and then handed me a book. “Here, you might like this,” one said with a warm smile.

The book was Autobiography of a Yogi. I couldn’t put it down. Then I got my hands on another book, Be Here Now.  That was the moment that triggered my search.

Each volume was like a refreshing splash of cool water across my face. I felt an unusual welcome connection, a recognition, a sense of coming home to profound truth and an invitation to know more, an unquenchable thirst for more things spiritual in my life.

And so, not surprisingly, the decades that followed not only included graduate school and starting a family but became a quest that led me to more reading, and meditation, and diving deeper into spirituality through workshops, classes and teaching.

My search had evolved from merely seeking happiness to a fascination with the inner workings of our world and universe. 

Finally, in 2004 I got real traction: I met a spiritual guide who, I knew instantly, was the answer to my prayers. Next to my family, that relationship became my pinpoint focus for the next 20 years.

Each month I came to our conversations with dozens of questions: “Why does this happen?” “Can I do this?” “How can I stop this from happening?” The responses—a combination of deep wisdom, tools, techniques, reliable guidance and loving support—mesmerized me. I had found what I’d longed for—inspiring, unfettered access to the explanations and answers I needed that enabled me to change my life.

I applied the teachings as I learned them and, bit by bit, I rid myself of my old worries and fears, my self-criticism, self-doubt, guilt, shame, blame, regret, and so much more. I forgave and freed myself from mistakes and regrets. I was doing deep work, cleansing my inner house and doing it well. 

As I cleared these energies, I felt myself changing. I felt lighter. I felt happier, more at peace. The pace of my life let up and my mental chatter largely disappeared. Things got easier. There was far less “bad stuff” I used to hate and resist, less discomfort, and so much less negative emotion. It felt as if a heavy burden had lifted from my back

Even life-long core beliefs about my fallibility, my limitations and feelings of unworthiness (that I had assumed were true, permanent and irreversible) surfaced so not only could I see them but also work on them. Slowly, they too dissolved.

I could feel myself transforming. I used my new tools to clear away the old crap and create more and more inner peace, presence, joy, fulfillment, certainty and even serenity—states that had long eluded me.

My evolution inspired me to share what I’d learned. So, I taught. Then came years of posting in-depth responses to people's questions on Quora.com (so far, read by more than 4 million people).

That has led to a desire to expand even further. I founded this Consciousness and Life Coaching business, Brilliance You Are, so that many more people, exhausted from struggling with frustrations and obstacles, could start transforming themselves and their lives. (And here you are!)

If you learn one thing from my website, let it be this: Your belief that life has to be hard is false. You’re also not the fallible, flawed, weak person you think you are. And, if you now have a tiny sense that’s true, I’ll tell you this and maybe you’ll accept it…

You don't have to keep struggling and facing obstacles and inner battles. You also don’t have to invest lots of time, effort or money to discover the brilliant, limitless being you truly are and to start enjoying the life you desire.

A new life and a new you start with answering two simple questions:

What kind of life do you want? And how much do you want it?