Why I love this work

I lead a meditation class on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. Today, one person came. I’ll call him Eric. I’ve known Eric about three years and have watched him. He’s a kind, giving, enjoyable person. But today Eric was visibly upset.

He’d had tests done, he said, and they found something. They won’t know for sure until Tuesday. So, I could sense his fear. “I’ve been a mess,” he said. “I’m going out of my mind.”

When people need individual attention, I notice that on those days only they come to class. No one else. Today was one of those days. Just Eric and me, one on one with an hour to talk.

I started class as he placed tissues on the table in a neat pile in front of him. I began by asking if there was something he wanted to talk about. “Yes,” he said hesitantly. And out it came, along with tears and so much mucus and nose blowing and apologies. My job then was simply to listen. Occasionally I’d encourage him to breathe, relax and let it all out, especially the emotions. “Don’t think. Just feel and release.”

I inquired about how he was breathing, which muscles were tight and where it hurt. I asked about what emotions were surfacing. I wanted to know what he was thinking and hearing in his head because I know so much of our pain and suffering starts there…and sometimes never ends.

We both relaxed our bodies. We both breathed with specific intentions. We both went into our hearts.

“My mind never stops,” answering one of my few questions. “It’s always going. It’s got me doing something always.” That admission was gold, the starting point for the guidance I offered for our last 30 minutes.

We moved on to talking about managing our runaway minds. And why breathing is so important. And presence. And who we are—who we are really. And our abilities and gifts.  

And there was more, so much more I somehow was able to squeeze into the hour. It flowed into me and out of me. When it was over, I asked how he was doing.

“I feel so different…I’m not coughing like I have been constantly for the last 10 days…my brain is quiet and that has never happened in my whole life…and even my fear of what’s coming is gone—it came back a little but I handled it, like you taught me, and it’s gone now…I feel so much better….”

I reassured him I’d guide him through anything else might come up in the days ahead, including Tuesday, but that he is the person doing this amazing work. And that he might start to experience a series of other important, positive shifts. You blew the lid of something, I said.

Lastly, I reminded him to remember to breathe and be present and how key this is to everything because we only live one moment at a time and that present moment is where our power lives.

On the way out the door, he turned. “I just knew I had to come today,” he said “It’s my first time but I knew I had to come and now I’m so glad, so glad, I did.”

We both had a really good morning. I’m so grateful to share and have a role in such extraordinary moments. That’s what this work is all about for me.